DAC Sample 1
Institution: DAC (Dansk Arkitektur Center)
Exhibition: So Danish!
Text accompanying a photo of a residents dining at Balancen, a senior living institution.
As written:
Home life in balance
The sustainable ideals of the 1970s regarding dense-low building have now taken root and are making a broader impact. In Balancen (The Balance) in the Danish town of Ry, recycled materials, community and aesthetics go hand in hand. The fact that the homes were built by one of Denmark’s largest pension funds is worth noting, as this illustrates that the old ideals have become economic necessities for investors concerned with a return on their investment.
Better:
Home Life in Balance
The sustainable ideals of the 1970s regarding low-rise, high-density building have now taken root and are making a broader impact. At Balancen (The Balance), a senior housing complex in the Danish town of Ry, recycled materials, community, and aesthetics go hand-in-hand. The fact that the homes were built by one of Denmark’s largest pension funds is worth noting, as this illustrates that these old ideals have become an economic necessity for investors looking to secure a profit.
Why is this better?
1) Titles, in English, get capital letters on most of the words (following rules that can be looked up elsewhere).
2) Translating tæt-lav too literally, instead of finding out what the same concept is actually called in English among architects and urban planners, makes it difficult for the reader to understand the meaning of the sentence.
3) In this context, i means at, not in. (This is a common mistake to make in translating Danish to English.)
4) Overall: While the translation as written is, strictly speaking, not wrong, it does not precisely translate the Danish sentence. The meaning is slightly changed, but why is that? As a practice, it risks losing some of the meaning along the way. Also, outside of Denmark, it might not be as clear as it is to your average Dane that this room in the photo is part of a senior housing project. It therefore makes sense to mention it in the English translation.